laughcentre: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: castiels-feathery-butt: tyflowsion: what if ducks threw bread back at you you’d have to duck this is one of those posts that makes you step back and re-examine your entire worldview
phunkyvanspam: runintoyourheart: so i stopped at walmart tonight to pick up a few things and i was in the pasta aisle looking for tomato sauce and this guy walks by and says “hey baby you making my favorite meal tonight?” and for some reason i said “only if you enjoy feasting on the flesh of your enemies” and his friend looked at me like i was the devil and this is why i shouldn’t communicate...
instead of getting their period girls should just get to sleep for 5 days straight every month everyone wins
willyumbeckett: one time this guy in my class drew a penis on the blackboard with a permanent marker and continued the drawing with an erasable marker and made it to be a cat and my english teacher wanted to write on the blackboard so she tried to erase the drawing and the cat went away and all that was left was a penis and we all cried laughing and she just sighed and said “its so small”
do any of you even know my name
u-okay-no-srsly: cocacolanightowl: calzonarizzles: I HAVE TO DO A PROJECT ON AUSTRIA AND I JUST DID THE WHOLE FUCKING THING ON AUSTRALIA It looks like your grade is going …… down under ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
snorlaxatives: the first person to ever fall asleep was probably like “aw fuck i’m dying” but then woke up hours later and was like “aw yeah that’s the shit i do like”
tsunderrorist: if you’re having a bad day here is a baby polar bear being tickled
cheesoisuncool: hey baby… you know im kinda like a cup noodle… you open me up, pour hot water in me up to the fill line and stir me until i get soggy and dissapointing
zackisontumblr: having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house
potatoandotherwise: acciocutebutt: potatoandotherwise: potatoandotherwise: wanting to get good grades but not wanting to do work this is not the gif I wanted We accept the gifs we think we deserve. are you saying i think i deserve batman eating a pony because you’re right
haithinkimfunny: calliopesragingboner: one-hamburger: dicksp8jr: fionaaelizabeth: If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead what do coral even get stressed about Current events Get out.
kittening: a male celebrity can literally beat his girlfriend half to death and still enjoy a successful career with millions of adoring fans a female celebrity can gain a few pounds and she’s shunned, mocked, and ridiculed by thousands of people over many different mediums do you see the problem with this Nope
captorquest: one time in freshman year my biology teacher was teaching us about chromosomal disorders and apparently some women can have three X chromosomes and she went to go look up some pictures of what some women afflicted with this condition look like. unfortunately my teacher typed in “XXX females” and that worked about just as well as you’d expect
imthegirlwhowaited: stabla: when ever there’s a chase scene in a film and some fruit stall gets knocked over i always feel really bad because what if that’s the fruit guys only source of income and his wife has left him and he has a kid in hospital with cancer i want to know more about the fate of the fruit seller does he get it together and turn his life around or is it the last straw for him...
tenebrisedwardandeoc: cryonetics: snorlaxatives: *sexually strokes wall until finding light switch* What a turn on. I literally started bleeding from my nose laughing about this
deerpong: bowlingforsoup: how many haters does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they fear change, even if it can make the world a brighter place. That was so deep I shit myself
juicylouture: During a performance or something at school I really wanna go on the stage and grab the microphone and be all like “May I have your attention please” “May I have your attention please” [long pause] “Will the real slim shady please stand up”